MY JOURNEY TO DRESSING MODEST

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

*Dedicated to any sister out there struggling to abide by the Islamic guideline for dress code, read the story of a sister who was once in your shoes. She narrates how she overcame her ‘old’ lifestyle and shares how she adapted to the Islamic dress code. Enjoy reading 😊 …


Hey there, I’m Eesha. I’d love you to read my story on how I got to start dressing modestly.

This is a continuous journey and I pray to continuously improve with my character as well.

Dressing in line with Islam was not something I was brought up with. Reminiscing on my childhood and teen years I could remember how many skirts I had – barely one☹. I never cared that much because I never knew that much. I would still wear the Hijab amidst this. My tops could be short-handed and I was fine with it. What was important for me then was covering my hair. I never acknowledged that the hijab was more than a head covering and did what I was doing telling myself after all I am better than so and so… I cover my hair. Anyone who sees me would know I am a Muslim, and that it is my identity! As, I grew older I got exposed to life, saw people dressing modestly and was wondering how they managed to do it.

There was a time I was determined to change. I purchased skirt of different types, but never felt comfortable wearing them. Then I went back…😭 never clear as to my why and not having a good support system (there is always someone to blame, so sad)

Environments are very important in life and this changed me greatly. I changed my environment which made me appreciate the modest dressing obligated upon us. Though, not a fully Islamic environment but it was one I needed to kick start my dressing journey. I saw people adorning the abayas, the skirt flowing and felt I could be like this. I would go to the Masjid wearing my trousers and before entering I would put on my abaya (this was not ideal) I would be in Uni and once it’s prayer time I would be looking for something to tie around my waist down… This was not good. I began to realise and acknowledge I needed to do something about it.

I started getting convinced on the need to dress modestly as I would feel like a hypocrite when I dressed modestly and removed it. I started making dua 🤲🏼… my environment was affecting me positively. My new friend started donning the Hijab in couple of days and I used this to motivate myself.

I remember when I started, I kept it secret. I never told anyone except my new friend. I went back to Uni so I was alone, away from families, no pressure that I wanted.

I purchased different long skirts and began to wear them gradually. Sometimes, I felt uncomfortable, feeling unable to rock the way I wanted. But because I knew the reason why I was dressing modestly, I was able to maintain wearing it.😌 I felt different to the people around me most most of the time. Had some issues with self-esteem (Alhamdulillah, I’ve worked on that). It was difficult sometimes and tbh I cried many times. Dua, dua dua was all I had, and listening to reminders which emphasised the importance of modest dressing… and that was how it all started, one step at a time. I began to feel comfortable in dressing modestly, added some abayas to my wardrobe… began to wear socks, and cover my awrah… There were sometimes I would feel hot, but I reminded myself of the purpose of covering up and it keeps me going Alhamdulillah.

Forward to now, I feel comfortable, liberated, able to define which party of my body is visible. 🙂


PURPOSE OF SHARING THIS STORY

Women love fashion and there is nothing wrong in adorning yourself with beautification as long as it is done in the right space.🌸 “Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty”. Dressing modestly is important when you are in front of your non-mahram (and some mahrams too). In the public domain we should be conscious of the kind of attention we are bringing upon us, it may be intended or unintended.

The journey to dressing modestly is a veryyyyyy personal one. Almost every sister can relate because they have gone through this phase in one form or the other. Islam has prescribed certain guidelines on how a female should dress. Undeniably, the society we live in has continuously made it challenging. The media has flooded images of how a female should look like and this is contrary to the conditions of Hijab. It is not easy when they make us judge our values and we have to change the narrative. It is up to we Muslims to stand up to our religion, reclaim this right, support, and encourage one another.  To any female in this phase, it is worth speaking to someone who will assist you in this journey, with sincerity, conviction, dua and supportive friends. In Sha Allah you will go through the phase successfully. Though, not everyone struggles but it is not an understatement to say majority of the sisters struggle with getting to terms on dressing the correct way. It is easy to avoid many pressures by simply saying and living as a Muslim. If you choose to live as a Muslim, you will be free from consumerism and commodification. Feel comfortable in dressing to please Allah and not having to worry too much about looks!

Adapted from Islamqa – Conditions of Muslim woman’s hijaab

Here are 3 lessons I extracted from Eesha’s story

KEEP ALLAH ﷻ AS YOUR #NUMBER1.

It is important that we know why we are wearing the Hijab. It is more than a piece of cloth to be draped over the head. The main reason why females wear the Hijab is because it is a command from Allah ﷻ. A command from Allah ﷻ is an obligation and should not be taken lightly. I am not downplaying the difficulties females face wearing the Hijab, but we need to know that Allah knows what is best for us than our own selves. If you are living in a place where it is difficult to abide by the Hijab, wear it to the best of your ability and know that Almighty Allah ﷻ will reward you for it.  “Be mindful of Allah and he will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah…” (Tirmidhi 2516) To anyone struggling, be mindful of Allah ﷻ, supplicate to Him, seek His help, Ask Him to strengthen you to begin to don the Hijab and by His will you will find it easy. The way we appear is a fraction of Islam, whether we accept it or not. We all represent Islam; we are all vicegerent of Allah ﷻ on earth. People see us and see Islam in us, so we should be good ambassadors of Islam by following the tenets of our religion.  

KEEP LEARNING.

Knowledge gets rid of ignorance. Islam has placed so much emphasis on seeking knowledge as it is the foundation of good actions.  The Prophet ﷺ tells us: “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.”(Ibn Mājah) and “Whoever travels a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise.” (Muslim). Knowledge must be combined with action upon learning. Know that it is not all about intentions as actions justify intentions. Do not wait until you feel you have reached a certain level of taqwa (piety). There is no perfect moment to begin to fulfill the obligation, my dear sisters! Start donning your Hijab and it will assist you to reach a higher level of piety, adding to your conviction. We all know that there are certain conditions to be met before praying Salah – females cannot pray Salah without a proper head and body covering. The awrah must be properly covered to pray, whether you are in the Masjid or in your home. Is it not then somewhat contradictory to dress to pray in a certain way and to go out in a different way? We are all on a journey to dressing and improving ourselves and we should keep trying.

HAVE GOOD COMPANY.

Surround yourself with good, practicing Muslims of your sex and gender. Human like companionship and we want to feel supported when we are making changes. Control your circle of friends, who you surround yourself with, as we see a reflection of ourselves in them. The Prophet tells us: “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Tirmidhi 2378) Having good friends who you can count on will make you feel more comfortable and take continuous steps to improve yourself. No one is saying you should change your friends 360ο but start gradually, if you feel you need to. You are the only one who knows whether you need to change some of your company. Get closer to people who you feel are doing well in the deen, make dua that Almighty Allah ﷻ brings and surround you with righteous friends. (Good company include online friends). I once heard from a podcast where the speaker mentioned that he wanted to be close with a person and he made dua to have that friend in his life – this is something you can do to! Know that by changing your company you change your environment too – giving you a conducive environment where you feel supported.

Let me know what you’ve learnt in the comment section below

POINT OF REFLECTION: Surprisingly, I can’t pinpoint out something for reflection. Let me know what stuck out to you from reading this story👇🏽

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*This story is a new addition to the blog. #TrueLifeStories.. Read about its purpose here and a previous story published – DUA OF AN OPPRESSED. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to share your story to inspire others. Contact us via Instagram or email thoughtsandreflectionsr@gmail.com

I’ll leave you here with a poem I wrote on the Hijab –  Click here to read – MY HIJAB

 Here are some YouTube videos talking about Hijab and modesty!

If you have any questions you can ask here  PS: You can make it completely anonymous: https://curiouscat.qa/TandR

Till next time Fi Ammanillah! 👋🏽

A BEE OR A FLY?

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

Be like a Bee that only lands on sweet things and skips the filthy. Don’t be like the fly that lands on only the wounds.

Re-read that quote again and continue. You will notice that the bee sees the filthy but skips it. So, do we as humans. We notice the good and bad in people, but the question is are you like the bee? What do you focus on? There is a saying that, what you focus on grows!

Be like the bee that only lands on sweet things by seeing the good in people. Know that everyone has something good in them no matter how bad you think they are. Be gentle like the bee when it lands on flowers, it does not destroy it. Be gentle like the bee in your interaction with others.

“Verily, gentleness is not in anything but that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything but that it disgraces it.” Musnad Ahmad 24417

PERSPECTIVE OF A MUSLIM

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

Being a Muslim involves looking at the world in a very different way.

The Prophet ﷺ tells us:

‘Wondrous is the affair of the believer for there is good for him in every matter and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, then he thanks Allah and thus there is good for him, and if he is harmed, then he shows patience and thus there is good for him’.

[Sahih Muslim 2999.]

A Muslim view this world as a means to fulfilling his/her purpose of creation;And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.’  (Qur’an 51:56)

A Muslim sees this life as a test. This lens is different from the one who sees life one for purely enjoyment.He is the One˺ Who created death and life in order to test which of you is best in deeds’. (Qur’an 67:2) ‘…the life of this world is no more than the delusion of enjoyment.’ (Qur’an 3:185)

A Muslim learns to be optimistic and positive. ‘I am just as my slave thinks I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him’ [Sahih Bukhari 7405]

To be patient. Patient in times of adversity. And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.’ (Qur’an 2:155)

To be grateful. Grateful in prosperity. ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’ (Qur’an 14:7)

To live as a stranger/traveler “Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along a path.” [Sahih Bukhari 6053]

To have an unconditional trust in Allah beyond your ability. Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه, reported: A man said, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I leave her untied and trust in Allah?’ The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Tie her and trust in Allah.” Sunan Tirmidhi 2517. This highlights the importance of putting your best effort in whatever you do because you cannot control the result. You can only manage the process. So, learn to focus on efforts and detach from results. Your intentions is something you can control. Work on it!

To see things as a means of earning reward and preparing for the hereafter.

Why is this so? Because life is a temporary abode, we are in this world to prepare for the eternal life. In this life we engage in actions as a means of getting closer to Allah ﷻ and prepare for the hereafter.

The way to attain this mindset and view this world differently comes from Knowing Him – Allah ﷻ!

How else do you think a Muslim should view the world? Share in the comment below.  

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You might be interested in reading other related post

A PROMISE FROM ALLAH  |  BARAKAH ACTIONS | RAMADAN PREP  |FULFILLING LIFE’S PURPOSE  |PERSPECTIVE: POSITIVE MINDSET  | SELF-REFLECTION

WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE?  |THE ROLE MODELS: THE YOUTHS IN THE CAVE

ETIQUETTE OF MAKING DUA  | DUA OF AN OPPRESSED | THE MOST BELOVED TO ALLAH…

If you have any questions you can ask here  PS: You can make it completely anonymous: https://curiouscat.qa/TandR

Till next time Fi ammanillah