Stories

Disappointment taught me Detachment

Azeezat P2 Comments

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

Another #TrueLifeStory to remind you never to trust your abilities. Many of us have gone through the academic phase of life. It is important that we are cautious in our strive to excel. To not lose focus of the real thing.

I’m Sid and here’s a bit of my life and how I learnt about detachment.

Scoring high marks in university was my thing. I was someone who always worked hard, read and helped others to understand what we were taught in uni. But something happened that changed my perspective with my academics. I had some setbacks, or we’ll call it realizing moments. This was a uni module assignment that was challenging in the beginning for me. I have heard how difficult it was to pass the module, and maybe it affected my approach subconsciously. We were given a formative and I scored high marks unexpectedly. I kept wondering how this happened. Fast forward to the final assignment. I ensured I did my best, crossed my I and T’s.

Unfortunately, when I saw my result I was shattered. I was like no, no, no, this can’t be my result. I was not ready to accept what I saw. I cried so hard. I did not fail. But I was expecting something so high. And this is a problem that happens when you place so many expectations on yourself. This is what happens when you trust your abilities without Allah. When you tie your camel, but do not put your Trust in Allahﷻ.

To be honest it was a challenging module, and I know I did well compared to so many people, but this is the danger of having high expectations. I was so hurt, sent an email to ask if it could be remarked with a response of NO.

I cried my eyes out. Words of solace were not comforting. I just wanted to be alone. To speak and be by myself. I believed so much in my ability, in my intelligence and when it did not help me, I got disheartened. It was sometimes later that I calmed down. There was a lot I learnt from this life experience and looking back I would say, I was happy to learn this lesson at this point of my life. Sometimes you need to break to heal and that was what I was going through. I needed this experience to remold me. To be submissive. And humble to Allahﷻ. To recognise the gifts He bestowed upon me and use it in the right way – to please Him.

Most especially I had to acknowledge that Almighty Allahﷻ rewards us for our effort, not always through results. Though, this is something I have always looked at in the deen aspect. I never really applied it to my other spheres of life. As you know, you might be doing something without seeing the reward, but knowing that Almighty Allahﷻ is going to reward you for your effort and not the result is reassuring. It also made me try to not depend on myself when I am doing uni work. I now don’t try to expect so much. I now take it easy on myself. I don’t feel overwhelmed.

It was a very hard lesson and it made me realize that failures and setbacks are for us to learn lessons. We have to learn lessons from ourselves. Really hard ones! And this is something that can happen to anyone reading. Take it easy and manage how you deal with expectations. Then I wasn’t learning so much about the deen and it just shows you how my mindset was so closed that there were people who would score less but they would be grateful. I lacked the gratitude mindset and it really made me hurt, pained and was extremely disheartening. To anyone reading I implore you, not to let your grades to define you – I was trying to define myself by my grades and that made it affect me so much. I needed to learn how to detach myself from my grades. I am this… not what my grades say. (I say to myself now)

I am still going to strive to get the highest marks possible, but I have to know that it is up to Almighty Allahﷻ. While I put the effort and hope that He rewards me.

Anytime, I think about this incidence, I laugh at myself and express gratitude that I was able to extract lessons from it because it has nurtured me, helped me to grow, in the way I define myself. And I hope anyone reading this, maybe you are going through a similar situation. Take it easy on yourself and put them in the hands of Allahﷻ. I am not saying you won’t be hurt or disappointed, but your reaction will be managed. Also, take lessons from yourself. Your life situation. Learn lessons from whatever situations you are in.

After reading Sid’s story I will like to expand on 3 points

Importance of tie your Camel and put your Trust in Allah.

This is a popular hadith and we know it from our lips. But how many of us have actually implemented it in our lives? It is important that we trust Allah more than our abilities. He is Al-Khaliq (The Creator) who created all that is in existence. He Created the Camel that you are tying, and He is the only one who can preserve it. This reminds me of a saying of Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allah the Most High have mercy on Him) that I came across. he said: “from the weakness of your yaqin (certainty) is that what is in your hand is more reliable than what is in the Hand of Allah”. This is a powerful statement. Applying this means that we should depend and rely on Allah than what we have. Ask yourself: how well have you tied your camel? How is your trust in Allah?

Detachment.

The whole story sums up detachment. I’ve also done a bit explanation on detachment here. We get attached to things and people because they give us a sense of security. Love. A sense of belonging. Meaning. And certainty. Many of us have been getting it all wrong “Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” (Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه) Don’t allow what you have to own you. As Human beings we long to have things and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem starts when you begin to tie yourself what you have. The only object of our attachment should be our Rabb – Allahﷻ. For He creates all that we see. All that we want. All that we possess. When you attach yourself to Allah, you will feel at peace within yourself, see life as temporary. Strive to please Him with what you do. The way to begin to attach yourself to Allah is to seek to know Him. (Learn His Names and Attributes). You can’t get attached to who you don’t know.

What defines you? (Coming soon in another post In Sha Allah)

This story is a new addition to the blog. #TrueLifeStories.. Read about its purpose here. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to share your story to inspire others. Contact us via Instagram or email thoughtsandreflectionsr@gmail.com

If you’ve enjoyed reading, share with someone you know will benefit and don’t forget to subscribe too.

Share with the intention to be rewarded by Allahﷻ. Sharing is caring:)

Till next time Fi Ammanillah!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

MY JOURNEY TO DRESSING MODEST

Azeezat P3 Comments

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

*Dedicated to any sister out there struggling to abide by the Islamic guideline for dress code, read the story of a sister who was once in your shoes. She narrates how she overcame her ‘old’ lifestyle and shares how she adapted to the Islamic dress code. Enjoy reading 😊 …

Hey there, I’m Eesha. I’d love you to read my story on how I got to start dressing modestly.

This is a continuous journey and I pray to continuously improve with my character as well.

—

Dressing in line with Islam was not something I was brought up with. Reminiscing on my childhood and teen years I could remember how many skirts I had – barely one☹. I never cared that much because I never knew that much. I would still wear the Hijab amidst this. My tops could be short-handed and I was fine with it. What was important for me then was covering my hair. I never acknowledged that the hijab was more than a head covering and did what I was doing telling myself after all I am better than so and so… I cover my hair. Anyone who sees me would know I am a Muslim, and that it is my identity! As, I grew older I got exposed to life, saw people dressing modestly and was wondering how they managed to do it.

There was a time I was determined to change. I purchased skirt of different types, but never felt comfortable wearing them. Then I went back…😭 never clear as to my why and not having a good support system (there is always someone to blame, so sad)

Environments are very important in life and this changed me greatly. I changed my environment which made me appreciate the modest dressing obligated upon us. Though, not a fully Islamic environment but it was one I needed to kick start my dressing journey. I saw people adorning the abayas, the skirt flowing and felt I could be like this. I would go to the Masjid wearing my trousers and before entering I would put on my abaya (this was not ideal) I would be in Uni and once it’s prayer time I would be looking for something to tie around my waist down… This was not good. I began to realise and acknowledge I needed to do something about it.

I started getting convinced on the need to dress modestly as I would feel like a hypocrite when I dressed modestly and removed it. I started making dua 🤲🏼… my environment was affecting me positively. My new friend started donning the Hijab in couple of days and I used this to motivate myself.

I remember when I started, I kept it secret. I never told anyone except my new friend. I went back to Uni so I was alone, away from families, no pressure that I wanted.

I purchased different long skirts and began to wear them gradually. Sometimes, I felt uncomfortable, feeling unable to rock the way I wanted. But because I knew the reason why I was dressing modestly, I was able to maintain wearing it.😌 I felt different to the people around me most most of the time. Had some issues with self-esteem (Alhamdulillah, I’ve worked on that). It was difficult sometimes and tbh I cried many times. Dua, dua dua was all I had, and listening to reminders which emphasised the importance of modest dressing… and that was how it all started, one step at a time. I began to feel comfortable in dressing modestly, added some abayas to my wardrobe… began to wear socks, and cover my awrah… There were sometimes I would feel hot, but I reminded myself of the purpose of covering up and it keeps me going Alhamdulillah.

Forward to now, I feel comfortable, liberated, able to define which party of my body is visible. 🙂

PURPOSE OF SHARING THIS STORY

Women love fashion and there is nothing wrong in adorning yourself with beautification as long as it is done in the right space.🌸 “Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty”. Dressing modestly is important when you are in front of your non-mahram (and some mahrams too). In the public domain we should be conscious of the kind of attention we are bringing upon us, it may be intended or unintended.

The journey to dressing modestly is a veryyyyyy personal one. Almost every sister can relate because they have gone through this phase in one form or the other. Islam has prescribed certain guidelines on how a female should dress. Undeniably, the society we live in has continuously made it challenging. The media has flooded images of how a female should look like and this is contrary to the conditions of Hijab. It is not easy when they make us judge our values and we have to change the narrative. It is up to we Muslims to stand up to our religion, reclaim this right, support, and encourage one another.  To any female in this phase, it is worth speaking to someone who will assist you in this journey, with sincerity, conviction, dua and supportive friends. In Sha Allah you will go through the phase successfully. Though, not everyone struggles but it is not an understatement to say majority of the sisters struggle with getting to terms on dressing the correct way. It is easy to avoid many pressures by simply saying and living as a Muslim. If you choose to live as a Muslim, you will be free from consumerism and commodification. Feel comfortable in dressing to please Allah and not having to worry too much about looks!

Adapted from Islamqa – Conditions of Muslim woman’s hijaab

Here are 3 lessons I extracted from Eesha’s story

KEEP ALLAH ﷻ AS YOUR #NUMBER1.

It is important that we know why we are wearing the Hijab. It is more than a piece of cloth to be draped over the head. The main reason why females wear the Hijab is because it is a command from Allah ﷻ. A command from Allah ﷻ is an obligation and should not be taken lightly. I am not downplaying the difficulties females face wearing the Hijab, but we need to know that Allah knows what is best for us than our own selves. If you are living in a place where it is difficult to abide by the Hijab, wear it to the best of your ability and know that Almighty Allah ﷻ will reward you for it.  “Be mindful of Allah and he will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah…” (Tirmidhi 2516) To anyone struggling, be mindful of Allah ﷻ, supplicate to Him, seek His help, Ask Him to strengthen you to begin to don the Hijab and by His will you will find it easy. The way we appear is a fraction of Islam, whether we accept it or not. We all represent Islam; we are all vicegerent of Allah ﷻ on earth. People see us and see Islam in us, so we should be good ambassadors of Islam by following the tenets of our religion.  

KEEP LEARNING.

Knowledge gets rid of ignorance. Islam has placed so much emphasis on seeking knowledge as it is the foundation of good actions.  The Prophet ﷺ tells us: “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.”(Ibn Mājah) and “Whoever travels a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise.” (Muslim). Knowledge must be combined with action upon learning. Know that it is not all about intentions as actions justify intentions. Do not wait until you feel you have reached a certain level of taqwa (piety). There is no perfect moment to begin to fulfill the obligation, my dear sisters! Start donning your Hijab and it will assist you to reach a higher level of piety, adding to your conviction. We all know that there are certain conditions to be met before praying Salah – females cannot pray Salah without a proper head and body covering. The awrah must be properly covered to pray, whether you are in the Masjid or in your home. Is it not then somewhat contradictory to dress to pray in a certain way and to go out in a different way? We are all on a journey to dressing and improving ourselves and we should keep trying.

HAVE GOOD COMPANY.

Surround yourself with good, practicing Muslims of your sex and gender. Human like companionship and we want to feel supported when we are making changes. Control your circle of friends, who you surround yourself with, as we see a reflection of ourselves in them. The Prophet tells us: “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Tirmidhi 2378) Having good friends who you can count on will make you feel more comfortable and take continuous steps to improve yourself. No one is saying you should change your friends 360ο but start gradually, if you feel you need to. You are the only one who knows whether you need to change some of your company. Get closer to people who you feel are doing well in the deen, make dua that Almighty Allah ﷻ brings and surround you with righteous friends. (Good company include online friends). I once heard from a podcast where the speaker mentioned that he wanted to be close with a person and he made dua to have that friend in his life – this is something you can do to! Know that by changing your company you change your environment too – giving you a conducive environment where you feel supported.

Let me know what you’ve learnt in the comment section below

POINT OF REFLECTION: Surprisingly, I can’t pinpoint out something for reflection. Let me know what stuck out to you from reading this story👇🏽

If you know anyone who will benefit from this post kindly share to benefit them and don’t forget to subscribe by entering your email below.

*This story is a new addition to the blog. #TrueLifeStories.. Read about its purpose here and a previous story published – DUA OF AN OPPRESSED. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to share your story to inspire others. Contact us via Instagram or email thoughtsandreflectionsr@gmail.com

I’ll leave you here with a poem I wrote on the Hijab –  Click here to read – MY HIJAB

 Here are some YouTube videos talking about Hijab and modesty!

If you have any questions you can ask here  PS: You can make it completely anonymous: https://curiouscat.qa/TandR

Till next time Fi Ammanillah! 👋🏽

DUA OF AN OPPRESSED

Azeezat P2 Comments

Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.  [Bukhari]

Prophet Muhammed ﷺ

My name is Bee and I will be narrating to you today about an incident that happened in my life. The event I am about to share happened during the COVID-19 pandemic. I decided to share this story because I feel it is important that people know how to use their tongue.  

I was in my sitting room watching the TV when my phone rang. A colleague from work called to inform me of a shocking news – the death of a co-worker. He died due to contracting coronavirus. I was a bit indifferent, unsure how to react. Immediately I supplicated to Allah ﷻ, expressing gratitude for my dua being answered. I am sure you are wondering what happened?  What dua did I supplicate to Allah for?

I remember vividly when the pandemic started and there was panicking at the workplace. I heard this colleague of mine who I will refer to as Sid, telling another colleague: ‘I pray that Bee (me) gets the virus and dies from it’. I am sure he did not know I heard him. Immediately I heard this, I was sad, scared, worries, distressed afraid of what I heard. I went straight to my musallah (prayer place at work) raised my hands to Allahﷻ and said I wish him the same, I wish him what he wishes me. I supplicated against him 😦

Sid has always given me a hard time at work, always complains of how I dress, what I do, about me having a prayer place at work, he complains when I am praying and he constantly makes my life unbearable in the workplace. My employers have tried to caution him to be respectful and tolerant, but he doesn’t listen.

Making dua was all I could do to pacify myself and remove my worries. I did not tell anyone else of what he did, not to my employers or family. I complained only to Allah ﷻ for comfort and that was it. It was few weeks later I received a call to hear that Sid died from coronavirus.

After I received the news I called the sister I was living with and narrated what happened to her. I asked her do you think I made the right dua? And she responded saying from what you told me he is an oppressor and you basically just wished him what he wished you.

PURPOSE OF SHARING THIS STORY: Oppression is something Allah ﷻ has forbidden and He disassociate Himself from. Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه reported: The Messenger of Allahﷺ said: ‘Allah the Exalted said: O my servants, I have forbidden oppression for myself and I have made it forbidden among you, so do not oppress one another’ Sahih Muslim. As Muslims we should be cautions of our actions and avoid oppressing others. Allah ﷻ deals with oppressors at the right time and punishes them. Look at the story of Prophet Musa عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ, and Firawn. The story of Abu Jahl persecuting the Muslims. Bilal رضي الله عنه  and Ummayah Ibn Khallaf… and the list goes on. Eventually Allah ﷻ punished the oppressor for transgressing. It may take time and to anyone being oppressed in any manner hold fast unto Allah ﷻ for YOU will one day be victorious. In Sha Allah you will look back and express gratitude to Allah ﷻ for lessons you learnt through the process.

After listening to Sister Bee’s story, I will like to expand on 3 points.

The importance of Tawakkul and complaining to Allah. For any worry, problem, issue You have, Turn to Allah! ﷻ Bee did not confront Sid nor report Sid to her employers, she did not tell anyone what she heard. Bee cried and turned unto Allah ﷻ and He ﷻ responded to her. She did only one thing – DUA. She made dua at her weak point. And the Prophet ﷺ guarantees that there is no barrier between the supplication of the oppressed and Allahﷻ (paraphrased) Sahih Bukhari so, whenever you are down, at your weakest point turn to Allah, cry to Him, talk to Allah ﷻ before anyone else because He is As-Sami (The All Hearing)  Al-Basir (The All Seeing) and have the conviction He will respond because He is Al Mujib (The Responsive).

Wishing good for others. What do you wish for others? What comes out of your tongue? We should be careful and conscious of how we use our tongue? The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘no Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: ‘And for you the same.’ (Muslim) This is an angel wishing you what you wish someone else. So, wish good for others and don’t use your tongue against yourself.

Avoid oppression. ‘Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression…’ Qur’an 16:90 . This is something Allah ﷻ disassociates Himself from and The Prophet ﷺ enjoins us to prevent oppression by ‘help[ing] your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed.’ It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, we help the oppressed, but how do we help an oppressor?” The Prophet said, “By seizing his hand.” In another narration, the Prophet said, “By restraining him or preventing him from committing injustice, for that is how you support him.” Sahih Bukhari and Muslim

POINT OF REFLECTION: when reading this story what came to your mind? We should look within ourselves and check whether we have in any way, shaped or form oppressed someone. It’s very easy to point fingers at others but look within and see if the problem comes from YOU. 

That’s it for now. I hope you enjoyed reading and have learnt from this story, if you found it insightful share with someone who will enjoy it as you do. Are there any lessons you learnt from this post please share in the comment section below.

TRUE LIFE STORIES

Azeezat P1 Comment

BISMILLAH-IR-RAHMAN-IR-RAHIM

I hope you are excited as we are 🥳

Introducing a new category into the blog. It’s called TRUE LIFE STORIES. 💯

The aim of adopting this initiative is for us to be able to relate with others. Learn from what people have gone through – their challenges and how they reacted in light of the Qur’an and Sunnah.

It is hoped that this will provide an opportunity for us to look inward into our actions and be conscious of Allah ﷻ. We constantly learn from people and sharing life experiences on this blog is a medium through which we hope will encourage us to lead our lives to please Allah ﷻ.

All the stories shared on this platform are completely anonymized and cannot be attributed personally to anyone. If you would like to share your story or life event in a way to inspire others. Please get in touch. We would love to tell your story. ♥️

PS: In Sha Allah a story will be released this coming Friday. Make sure to subscribe by entering your email below 👇 to receive immediate notifications when a new post is uploaded. Don’t forget to share with friends and families too. 😌

Till then Fi Amanillah.